Christ on a bike, where do you start?

PUBLISHED: 18:58 09 August 2009 | UPDATED: 16:24 10 September 2010

The Man In The Stands

So many words, so few printable.

However - livid, embarrassed, disgraced, humiliated, f*****g apoplectic all work.

The Man has felt sick ever since Jon Otsemobor's brain switched off for the first of no doubt many times this season.

So many words, so few printable.

However - livid, embarrassed, disgraced, humiliated, f*****g apoplectic all work.

The Man has felt sick ever since Jon Otsemobor's brain switched off for the first of no doubt many times this season.

We did our bit. We filled the ground, brought an atmosphere at kick-off that almost forgave the disastrous end to last season.

It genuinely felt good to be back. And that was what we got in return. The fact the boos only started after the third goal was a miracle.

As for the two fans who ran on the pitch, they have The Man's respect - they only did what the rest of us were thinking. That's probably why the Season Ticket Two were allowed to run all the way from the Snakepit to the dugouts without being approached by anyone - even the stewards understood what they were doing and why they were doing it.

I imagine the pay-off to Michael 'turning circle of a small island' Nelson will be cheaper than what's being discussed with Dejan Stefanovic, so there's one decision made.

Our new Aussie wonderkeeper Michael Flapalot-klitos? I'm sure his gob is louder than David Marshall's, but he's clearly not good enough at stopping the round thing going into the big rectangle behind him.

The guy's played four competitive games in England and conceded 13 goals. I'd pay him off too, with Nelson. It'd probably still come to less than Stefanovic's golden handshake.

Even the Carrow Road voiceover man couldn't hide his feelings. He openly sniggering at announcing our “man of the match” before effectively warning those who were too stunned to have already left Carra Rud that they should be careful of the traffic on their way out - presumably advising them against doing anything silly (like coming back on August 22).

Yesterday was not just any defeat. For once, the old Canary Call boys were right - it was the worst performance they'd ever seen, that any of us had ever seen at home. Conceding seven goals? At home to Colchester?

This was not the first game under Bryan Gunn - it was number 20. As hopeless as our players looked, the team looked as tactically naïve and poorly motivated as last season.

The Man raised a wry smile when Gunny admitted two of his worst games in football have been City's last two competitive outings.

Bryan, it should never have been your decision to stay on in the summer but please take responsibility for last season and this, now.

Think long and hard about whether you are up to the job. Our results should give you your answer.

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