Consistency is a mystery to the Canaries

PUBLISHED: 16:27 17 March 2007 | UPDATED: 10:10 14 September 2010

Amazingly it's 26 years ago that a wild, flame-haired Toyah appeared on our screens during Top of the Pops wailing "It's a mystery, it's a mystery" at us, and she might as well have been amongst the City faithful at Ninian Park last Saturday.

Amazingly it's 26 years ago that a wild, flame-haired Toyah appeared on our screens during Top of the Pops wailing “It's a mystery, it's a mystery” at us, and she might as well have been amongst the City faithful at Ninian Park last Saturday.

Some of the lads seemed to be superglued in their starting blocks and still suffering the after effects of whatever had been floating in their pre-match drinks.

Once they had been woken up by the 'gentle' breezes emanating from Peter Grant's dressing room hairdryer there were glimpses during the second half of what had brought us seven points from nine the previous week.

But once again the officials decided they couldn't allow us a single solitary goal, even when the ball crossed the goal-line into Netland, to scramble a meagre point and so Wales was left behind.

Time to start a campaign for Cardiff to be promoted to save us the long pointless but nevertheless picturesque annual journey maybe?

But for their loathsome manager, Dave Jones, I would start the petition now.

Sadly I'm not sure I can ever forgive him for calling our club arrogant for giving directions to Cardiff when we played Wolves in the play-off semi-final at the fortress just a few years back.

Funny that - those directions to the Millennium Stadium for the final were for ALL supporters Dave so maybe I'm leaning very slightly nearer a 'Promote Derby' petition instead, but only because I'd prefer not to have a certain Rams goalkeeper, well-versed in both verbal and non-verbal communication techniques, back in the fair city for some considerable time.

Now it won't have escaped your notice that George Michael is playing at Carrow Road shortly after having the honour of testing the sound systems and acoustics at the new Wembley Stadium this June.

I will confess to owning the odd CD or three of his, including 'Patience'. Well patience is something we are all going to have to have, whether it's trying to still get tickets to the aforementioned concert, or simply whilst watching our beloved team begin to build from what looks like almost the ground up.

But having just said all of that, then there was Tuesday night and a well-deserved win against table-topping Birmingham, a goal from Hucks rather reminiscent of that scored against Cardiff at the N & P End in our title winning season.

Cue Toyah arriving at the final whistle to answer the City fan shaking his head as he strode out into the street and asking 'why oh why can't we be more consistent?'

Finally for this week I have to mention the most amazing game on television for some long time. It had almost everything and drama aplenty, not to mention two teams that detest each other, two sets of passionate fans, a definite underdog that surpassed expectations and more on field incidents than a rural policeman's notebook.

What am I talking about? No - not the pretty epic Chelsea v Tottenham FA Cup quarter-final last Sunday, entertaining though that was… I am referring to the amazing performance of England's makeshift rugby team teaching the mighty France a few things about chasing the egg or 'chasser l'oeuf' as they like to call it over there.

I'm sure I could even hear sections of the Twickenham crowd chanting, “twelve-nine and you bished it up!” as the final whistle blew!

How appropriate, in the week that the government announced the compulsory study of a foreign language by pupils aged seven in our schools, that I end this week with a bit of “allez les jaunes” ready for the next corner we take at home, followed by a piece of “l'arbitre doit aller au Specsavers” for the next goal that's disallowed. For those below the age of seven those mean “come on you yellows” and “the ref should have gone to Specsavers”. For those of you well above seven you may substitute alternative words accordingly.

Au revoir.

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