Expect more cringe factor than X-factor

PUBLISHED: 13:59 15 March 2008 | UPDATED: 15:27 10 September 2010

The Man In The Stands

MORE than a couple of the Man's pals have voiced their concerns about the club's forthcoming "greatest ever" event. In fact, one character went so far as to brand it an embarrassment waiting to happen.

MORE than a couple of the Man's pals have voiced their concerns about the club's forthcoming “greatest ever” event.

In fact, one character went so far as to brand it an embarrassment waiting to happen.

He lamented: “It is just going to be a disaster.

“You are going to have a load of housewives and kids there just to see Rhydian off X-Factor and then at some point Terry Allcock is going to wander on to the stage.

“None of those lot will know who he is. It will be bizarre - I don't know why the club are doing it.”

Well, we all know why the club are doing it - to raise money. And it would be unfair to knock them for that.

However, it would be a crying shame if our XI best players (why is Robert Green in the short list?) are exposed to anything tacky or ill-thought out.

Maybe all the players that get “chosen” will be dead and the club can thereby avoid any cringe worthy moments, but you've got to think the odd living legend will make it.

What the Man really doesn't want is for those players to be greeted by a bunch of 45-year-old women from Horsford, rather than the Barclay's proletariat.

The trouble is that the event is not geared around a fixture, and you just wonder how many proper fans are going to turn up.

The Man is getting the same feeling about it as the he did for the season ticket shirts that went on sale last year.

To be fair, I didn't expect the club to shift a single one of those - but a few people were spotted wearing them at the Stoke game.

I had previously vowed to set light to anyone I saw sporting them, but when it came to it, The Man couldn't do it.

The five-year-old in front of me at the Stoke game was wearing the dubious garment, it just wouldn't be the done thing to send him up in smoke.

t D-DAY IS FAST APPROACHING

IN A matter of weeks, the Turners will reach the first anniversary of their inception into Norwich City Football Club.

It's quite difficult to imagine them picking a more turbulent and difficult 12 months in which to become accustomed to the inner workings of the club.

The Man wonders whether the credit crunch might have given them an extra headache in their day jobs too.

According to a club employee pal of the Man, Andy and Shaz are due to “report back” on their Canary findings soon, after carrying out their own review of the club.

At which point, as far as I know, they will decide as to the size and nature of their future involvement.

Having seen at first hand that a club like Norwich, with its full houses and numerous spin-off incomes, still loses money hand over fist - you could not blame them for walking away.

Michael and Delia are a special breed, and it's not everyone's idea of a good time to throw a fortune at a struggling Championship club.

I'm not saying the Stowmarket Two have completely enjoyed sacrificing a large portion of their wealth for us, but you know what I mean.

t FORGET SENTIMENT IT'S ALL DOWN TO MAKING MONEY

MORE evidence that the FA have little knowledge of what's going on outside the top flight.

Last week official FA mouthpiece Adrian Bevington defended the policy of playing this year's FA Cup semi-finals at Wembley.

He said: “It will be the first opportunity for these clubs to play at the new stadium, which presents new excitement in itself.

“I am sure a large number of their fans will be excited by the prospect of going to a semi-final at Wembley.”

Mr Bevington overlooked the fact that West Brom were one of the first sides to play at the new Wembley, courtesy of last year's play-off final. The Man must say, irrespective of who is left in the Cup, I have never been in favour of semi-finals being played at Wembley.

It spoils the novelty. But with the FA desperate to raise money to pay for their hugely expensive stadium, expect lots of fixtures to be played there.

t THE MAN was delighted to read this week that a campaign is gathering pace to make Trafalgar Day a national holiday.

It would be great to have the country brought to a halt to honour one of Norfolk's most famous sons, who is by association an honorary Norwich fan.

In previous years The Man has had to fight with HR bosses to try and get October 21 acknowledged as an official holiday, due to my Eastern roots.

The argument: “But I am a Norfolk man, and glory in being so” just didn't wash. A change in the law would negate such problems.

t SMALL SCREEN SUCCESS

THE ANSWER to Chris Brown's chronic shortage of goals has been revealed - he's been watching the wrong sort of videos.

After firing a brace against Charlton last weekend, Browny told reporters how he'd discovered his deadly side.

He said: “I watched a video of some of Ruud van Nistelrooy's goals for Manchester United and Real Madrid.

“It was put together for one of the players when he [Alan Irvine] was at Everton...it might have been Wayne Rooney.

“What struck me was how Van Nistelrooy was always on the move and always got to the middle of the goal, and every goal just seemed to be an easy finish for him. And that has been a massive help.”

Good luck to Browny - it's good to see his taste in videos has changed too.

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