Fans are being treated like dirt

PUBLISHED: 14:42 18 November 2006 | UPDATED: 09:50 14 September 2010

THERE is no doubt what has been the biggest talking point ahead of tomorrow's derby game: fish.

THERE is no doubt what has been the biggest talking point ahead of tomorrow's derby game: fish.

There was a time when this was a proper football match. However, it appears that era has long since passed.

It's been reduced to Ipswich fans going to the game dressed as Captain Birdseye - or whatever it is they are doing.

I used to be able to get worked up over this game - The Man would just have to think of old man John Wark to start spilling over with bile - but now I have to Google half their players to find out who they are.

So the enemy's characters have gone, but it is the kick-off times which have done more than anything to kill this fixture.

I mean really, 11.30am on a Sunday, and £31 to boot…we are getting treated like dirt.

How much longer has this enforced sanitisation of what was a great fixture in the football calendar got to go on for?

Surely we have lined enough coppers' pockets to give it a rest now?

It's hopeless - even Celtic and Rangers get to kick off an hour later than us.

While Liverpool versus Man U in March is down for a 3pm start.

There is no reason why this game cannot revert to a sensible kick-off time.

It is obscenely over-policed as it is; there's no way the 1,000 or so coppers they get to marshal these breakfast events could not keep it peaceful at the more acceptable time of 3pm.

Give us our derby back!

Aside from all the above, I really hope we beat them tomorrow.

I recall only a few weeks ago our debt-ridden rivals heralding a shift in the balance of East Anglian power as they over-took us…

Focus on catching up with Col U first my bitter market town-dwelling friends. OTBC.

V SO, Ipswich fans think they have got something on us because Paulo di Canio says Peter the Pointer (PTP) is scared of fish.

That's nothing - a little digging into their own line-up reveals someone we can target for a bit of stick.

One of their five loan signings - FIVE (the legal limit) - who could start against us is a fellow called Matthew Bates.

Certainly, if pictures which appeared in The Sun a few weeks ago are anything to go by, our boys are going to have to watch out for his fearsome tackle.

That's right, Mr Bates has inadvertently bared all.

The steamy photos, taken by the self-indulgent Bates in front of mirrors, were posted on the net by a mystery prankster who had somehow got hold of them.

As The Sun details: “One snap shows him (Bates) posing in a skimpy pair of underpants in a bathroom. The other shows him completely naked in a bedroom.”

Sadly for the Boro reject the pictures have not won him a new army of adoring female fan . . . quite the opposite - they are sprayed all over gay websites.

The Man did not visit these websites, and it should be made clear Mr Bates is not gay.

So if the **** fans are taking inflatable fish to the game - what should we do for Bate . . ?

...............................

t NEIL PLAYS IT STRAIGHT

UNUSUALLY, it was not just The Man having a pop at Doomcaster this week.

In his Daily Mail rumours column, fat-faced reporter Charles Sale said ND was guilty of “disturbing double standards”.

Doomcaster was on the panel which handed football agent Jonathan Barnett a nine month-ban for his role in the Ashley Cole tapping-up affair.

Yet, Doomy was - according to Sale - now ringing around agents asking about the availability of players still under contract, when he should be going direct to their clubs.

This, says Sale, is the very thing Barnett was found guilty of being involved in.

The by-product?

Well, Sale asserts that those poor down-at-heel agents are so morally appalled at Doomcaster's actions they are shunning his calls: thereby making us outcasts in the transfer market.

What a load of old tosh.

These lot (agents) would sell their grandmothers given half a chance.

And if there is one man in football you can guarantee WILL play by the rules, it is Doomcaster.

I recall a couple of years ago Sale had a pop at Delia, saying she was a disgrace for plugging McCain's Chips as a healthy option for the general public; while signing a deal for them to become our shirt sponsor.

He clearly doesn't get to many of our games then…unless Proton have started making oven chips.

The Man emailed him over his mistake, yet no reply was forthcoming.

...............................

t MCKENZIE IS FAIR GAME

'FRUSTRATED' Leon says: I want a goal.

The above was a back page in an edition of last week's Coventry Evening Telegraph, and The Man has to admit it made me laugh: boy, did it sound familiar.

Leon told the paper: “I am getting very frustrated now.

“Unfortunately, goals-wise, it is just not happening at the moment.”

And on not scoring in the recent game against Stoke…

He said: “I was a little bit unlucky with the offside decision at the end, which I think was right, to be fair.

“I just gambled but it was probably slightly off.

“I have just got to keep going. I am a battler and a fighter and I am sure the goals will come.”

Blah, blah, blah: same old Leon, same old rubbish.

On the eve of tomorrow's derby, lest we forget: he scored against the s**m, it's all he's ever done.

This may seem harsh, but if a player leaves us like he did - and in the manner he did - then he's fair game.

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