No point in wondering about the 'What ifs?'
PUBLISHED: 16:05 01 April 2006 | UPDATED: 09:19 14 September 2010
What if I had been born with legs up to my armpits? I might have been a model - well for hosiery anyway! What if Galileo hadn't been born? I guess there would be no need to have a Flat Earth Society.
What if I had been born with legs up to my armpits? I might have been a model - well for hosiery anyway!
What if Galileo hadn't been born? I guess there would be no need to have a Flat Earth Society.
What if Michael Faraday had remained a mere twinkle in his parents' eyes? Well, there would be no Sky TV and 3pm Saturday kick-offs would be the norm due to the lack of floodlights I suppose!
But what if Norwich had managed to take their umpteen chances during the opening 15 minutes of their encounter with Burnley the other Friday night?
No doubt in my mind we would have gone on to win - and very comfortably at that. Had we put just one of the many in the back of their net it was clear to anyone watching that their heads would have dropped faster than the current rate of east coast erosion.
As it was, and friends will testify, the pre-match studio chat sealed our fate.
First up was the "Burnley haven't scored a league goal for so many games.." statement. ("They will now then," my reply).
Then followed the "New loan signing from Sunderland Andy Gray will be looking to make a bright start to his Turf Moor career" suggestion. ("He's bound to score", my retort).
And finally the "Norwich will be looking for all three points to give themselves a chance of making it into the Championship play-offs in May". ("Nul points for us then," said in a cynical Eurovision accent/style).
I don't know if it's the television cameras that always freak me out these days but we hardly ever seem to do our best in front of them, and I feel uncomfortable when we are in the spotlight and underachieving as I see it.
In honesty the state of the pitch was atrocious - worse than playing on my local park and apparently as bad, if not worse, than Chelsea's recent potato field - but that just cannot be used as an excuse.
After all we proved that we could play well on it during that first quarter of an hour, until they all had nosebleeds running into our half and scored within seconds of their first sight of our goal, as the good citizens of Norfolk and City fans the world over heaved a collective sigh of "not again".
As I said much earlier on this season, we are consistently inconsistent. How can we stand up to and defeat a Sheffield United team that came here all guns blazing one week and then briefly batter but ultimately crumble against a Burnley side low on confidence and as empty in the goal-scoring department as my food cupboards by the end of the week?!
Answers on a postcard (no smaller than the size of the pitch) to the usual suspects at the club perhaps, for it is clearly no straightforward matter, although many will maintain that we need someone to come up with some attempted answers sooner rather than later, especially if we are to carry any sort of momentum into the next pre-season and make a much better start to our next Championship campaign than to this unmemorable one.