Now AJ is getting his just desserts
PUBLISHED: 15:07 23 December 2006 | UPDATED: 09:56 14 September 2010
THE MAN is a firm believer in karma. Quite where that leaves me in the cosmic scheme of things - given my negative rants for the past 18 months - I don't know.
THE MAN is a firm believer in karma.
Quite where that leaves me in the cosmic scheme of things - given my negative rants for the past 18 months - I don't know.
But I firmly believe what goes around comes around.
Remember when Andy Marshall left us to join Ipswich and announced he was “looking forward to playing for a big club in Europe.”
Two relegations followed with the s**m and Millwall…and no Champions League trophy as far as I can recall…
Andy Johnson is now suffering a similar fate.
When he launched into the air to get that penalty against us in the Premiership The Man was left spluttering with rage.
Not since Maradona's handball had I felt so cheated.
Maybe it's the fact we are so helpless to stop cheating that it heightens the rage so much.
I had to be persuaded not to wait for AJ outside Selhurst Park - although given the fact I've not hit anyone since primary school (and that was a girl) I don't know what I would have done…
Anyway, this week Mourinho waded into the diving debate and called Johnson a cheat.
Little AJ then said he would sue JM if he didn't retract his comments.
Well, if it does go to court The Man would be quite happy to take to the stand and give an eye-witness account of AJ's antics.
Basically, the guy is a cheat.
No ifs, no buts: he is a cheat.
He may not have dived in the recent game against Chelsea - but he is a diver.
The baldy poison dwarf and Everton are upset because now referees know he is a cheat the penalties have dried up - and therefore so have 50 per cent of his goals. Karma.
t GOOD LUCK TO WEBB
OUT with the old, and in with the new.
So this week one of the three wise monkeys has flown the next - although Mr Webb was certainly not the “speak no evil” of the trio. The Man recalls Webby's long stint as youth boss - when families turning up to watch our kids' teams in action would be urged to steer clear of the manager.
That's right, old KW was not averse to turning the air blue, even if it was just youngsters on the field.
I'm sure his industrial language will be missed up at Colney, and good luck to him at King's Lynn.
Whatever people think about the current coaching set-up; Webb has been a great servant to the club.
Of course, this also allows Grant to slightly tighten his grip on things - and if the purse strings allow (which I doubt) - bring his own man in.
The Man is aware he's becoming a bit repetitious in writing this, but I think it's worth emphasising the point.
Peter the Pointer (PTP) needs to be given time to get his own ideas across. He's a rookie manager, and he's learning on the job. There's a fair chance he could end up being Peter the Disappointer (PTD) - but we've got to be patient enough to let him show us one way or the other.
t FIVE REASONS FOR FANS TO BE CHEERFUL
CHRISTMAS can be a difficult and stressful time for some, and therefore The Man would like to offer Norwich fans a few reasons to be cheerful.
Bear with me…erm…I'm sure I can think of something…
Ok, I've got it: here are our top five reasons to be upbeat this festive season.
1) We have under-soil heating, and are therefore unlikely to get any Christmas games called off;
2) Some of our poorer players are a year closer to the ends of their contracts;
3) Ipswich are as bad as us, but don't even own half their team;
4) Patrick Boyle won't play for us next year (fingers crossed);
5) Damien Francis is set to be relegated;
And that, my friends, is about as good as it gets this Christmas.
There is no hiding from it - we are a bottom half side and don't look like changing that anytime soon.
But who cares?
Winning is sooo Chelsea and 2006: it's not cool anymore.
Losing is the new winning - if you get what I mean.
We are in fact at the zeitgeist of sporting entertainment - breaking down new barriers in what people will pay £25 for.
Future generations will look back on the current Carrow Road hierarchy as pioneers of a new art-form. Just wake me up when it's finished! OTBC
t TIME FOR RYAN TO DELIVER
I WILL choose my words carefully - but I almost choked on my cornflakes when I read the following last week.
It was in a section of the Sunday Times, called Progress Report, and featured our very own hotshot Ryan Jarvis.
The Sunday Times asserted: “Despite being used sparingly this season, mainly as a substitute, Jarvis shows signs of fulfilling his promise…”
Is this a sign in the stars? Because it sure as hell hasn't been on the pitch.
The Fakenham youngster said: “I supported Manchester United growing up and was fortunate to meet David Beckham about five years ago. He is a really nice guy.”
The best advice he has received - is of course - from his omnipotent dad: “Something my dad once told me - 'Express yourself and always feel like you are the best player on the pitch'. Never be overawed.”
I really wish his dad had told him: “Look like you give a s**t, and get stuck in” instead.
But the one which really tickled The Man was RJ's response to playing abroad.
He said: “I enjoy watching La Liga and if the opportunity came along, I'd take it.”
Listen, I hope the guy gets to play for Barcalona too - but let's just says he's looking more New Den reserves than Nou Camp…
The Man is pretty confident that unless Jarvis starts to deliver, his time in the Grant regime will soon be over.
Still, I'm sure his dad is working on that move to Man U as we speak.