Please, never let us become like Watford

PUBLISHED: 14:15 08 March 2008 | UPDATED: 15:27 10 September 2010

IT'S a conundrum that has tormented football's philosophers for years: what is more important, style or results?

IT'S a conundrum that has tormented football's philosophers for years: what is more important, style or results?

Of course, in an ideal world, with the ideal bank balance, we would all play like Man U - the perfect harmony of both.

But not everyone has that luxury.

Until this week The Man had always leaned towards results over style.

I don't go to football to be entertained - at least not in the purest sense. I go to watch Norwich win.

Winning is my entertainment.

I'm not like Newcastle fans, who expect a pole dance, sky-dive and sexy football to supplement the adrenaline of a win.

Three points would do for me.

However, my experience at Vicarage Road this week changed my views somewhat.

Quite simply, Watford are the most horrific “football” team I have ever seen. They make Stoke look like Di Stefano's Real Madrid.

Utterly hopeless, spirit-crushing football.

It's almost a kind of robotic Sci Fi sport, staffed by drones who have been programmed to operate to their master's commands.

They are bottom-feeders. Bacteria. Football's answer to MRSA.

It's against this backdrop - and despite the fact the Golden Boys (sic) are in the hunt for automatic promotion - that The Man resolved he would not want to swap places with Watford.

They are trapped in a parallel universe, playing vile football that makes them a success in this league, in the tragic knowledge it will always get them relegated from the Premier League.

The Man actually found himself feeling a bit sorry for the Watford fans on Tuesday.

I could not stomach watching that every week; win, lose or draw.

Boothroyd said after the game: “They (Norwich) are nowhere near us as a football team.”

We should take that as a big compliment.

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CANARIES DESERVE A HIGHER PROFILE

LAST week Roeder told reporters that he would have been in favour of a Prince Harry style media blackout regarding the team's trip to Spain.

The basic sentiment being that if Norwich were to lose to Blackpool, everyone would blame it on the sunshine break.

Roeder said such claims would be ill-founded...

Sorry GR, but if ever a team looked like it was on holiday then it was us in the first half last Saturday.

The lack of application echoed the final days of Peter the (Disa)pointer; but such is life.

Our revival has been sensational, and The Man for one is prepared to forgive them an off day - although not on April 13, when they are required to formally end the ****'s season.

Blackpool was followed by a decent point at Watford, where Roeder was again in fine post match form.

He said he was “fed up” with Norwich having a “low profile” and that he was intent on changing that perception.

It has been a constant source of annoyance to The Man and his pals that other clubs in this division seem to warrant the “great potential” tag whereas we are routinely dismissed as an unfashionable bunch of hillbillies.

Clubs such as Leicester, Coventry, Wolves and Hull are all deemed to be sleeping giants, despite the fact they can't match our crowds.

It's terrific that we have now got a manager who is prepared to stick up for us, as Roeder did at Watford, stating that a club with 25,000 crowds should be chasing promotion.

The club - rightly or wrongly - likes to go about its business in a quiet fashion.

You can bet your life that if some outfit in a dreary northern town had sold more than 18,000 season tickets by the beginning of March the whole world would know about it.

I think Wigan actually held a press conference to announce the earth-shattering news that they'd shifted 10,000 season tickets after promotion to the Premiership.

Roeder is letting one of football's best kept secrets out of the bag, and good on him.

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DRUM? STICK IT!

THERE is no greater sign of a tin pot British football club than one of its supporters having a drum.

It tells the world that your fans are significant in neither number nor noise, and need to be roused from their slumbers by a spotty kid who is in the “slow” group for GCSE maths.

Blackburn's use of the instrument at home games is perhaps the best encapsulation of this, although Blackpool's fans went pretty close last weekend.

Talk in the bar at half-time had quickly turned, from conversation about the dismal performance, to finding a way to insert the drum up the drummer's drum-hole.

It's quite one thing to watch your team get outplayed by a club with just two stands fresh out of League One, it's quite another to have the humiliation played out to a frenzied drum beat.

Although The Man had closed down most of his senses by the second half, I'm pretty sure someone had silenced the drummer for the final 45 minutes.

Whoever it was, thank you - I hope it was inserted sideways…

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WE WANT BOTCHED OP

THIS week the **** unveiled their new season ticket prices under the banner 'Operation Premiership'.

Hopefully it will prove as successful as today's opponents' eponymous campaign.

Coventry City launched 'Operation Premiership' at the start of this season, and before today's game sat just one place above the relegation zone.

Aside from 'Operation Premiership', the ****'s chief executive also revealed that an “insurance giant” was in the running to be their new shirt sponsor.

Well, after effectively building them two stands for free, it's the next logical step for Norwich Union…

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