We have electricity and running water!

PUBLISHED: 18:08 15 September 2007 | UPDATED: 10:33 14 September 2010

It is probably true, but it is beginning to get on The Man's nerves. This week Gunny again revealed that Norwich's geography was a major stumbling block to getting new players in.

It is probably true, but it is beginning to get on The Man's nerves.

This week Gunny again revealed that Norwich's geography was a major stumbling block to getting new players in.

It seems that in 2008 we simply can't compete with the bright lights of Stoke when it comes to competing for players...

“It comes down to geography and finances,” said Gunny, pictured.

For diehard Norwich fans this will strike a particularly ironic chord, as they spend almost 50 per cent of the season visiting windswept hovels that make genital warts seem appealing.

This year's delights include: Burnley, Ipswich, Preston, Scunthorpe, Hull, Stoke, Coventry, Wolverhampton, Barnsley - do I need to go on?

I'm biased I know, but if Norwich isn't a decent loan destination compared with those cities (or towns) then I'm a Chinaman.

Of course, geography has a slightly different inference when you are talking about young loan signings - as Rude Boy is unlikely to want to be away from his “scene” at weekends.

But last time I checked there were still trains between Norwich and London; while despite The Man's best efforts to build a trench, a road of sorts still exists between the two cities.

Note to prospective signings: we also have running water and electricity!

Damien Francis was a regular fixture on the post-match train to London; he was able to get to the Yates' in Wandsworth before the 2-1 cocktails offer had finished.

If you really wanted to push the idea, Norwich players could easily live in Cambridge (just like the Chad); then they'd be close to London and Colney, in an Alan Partridge kind of way.

However, the simple fact is that if we are now at the point where we are having to beg spoiled Premiership brats to come here than they can go stick it.

When the odd one with a bit of backbone pops up - like Jimmy Smith - then we'll have them.

But if they are so concerned with their life off the pitch, then we are better off without them.

Of course, does it really boil down to geography?

After all, Ravenelli and Juninho went to Middlesbrough, and JayJay Okocha is now in his own personal Hull.

The simple fact is that footballers would play on the moon if you paid them enough.

I recall Worthy getting quite a few loans in after relegation...

Maybe - and the club won't admit it - it's the fact these prospective players take one look at where the club has gone over the past few years and leave well alone.

Just a thought.

WHY ENGLAND SHOULD KEEP ROONEY ON THE BENCH

What a treat to see England play half-decently, long may it last.

The Man also hopes the team McClaren has stumbled across will put an end to the Rooney myth.

The myth being that this guy is some sort of world- beater.

He is a very talented footballer, but no way is he a goalscorer of international standards. To encapsulate that perfectly, it is worth knowing that in the period it has taken for Rooney to amass one international goal - Crouch has got ten.

The Man says keep WR on the bench; and use him as an impact sub in the last 20 minutes.

While on international football, I was gutted to see Worthy's lot get beat twice in a week. But we could have told our friends in Belfast, if they needed results away from home, it was never going to happen under Nigel.

KASABIAN IS GOOD CHOICE

The Man notes that we avoided branding ourselves the most unoriginal and mundane supporters in the country by just two per cent this week.

That was the difference between first choice Kasabian (25 per cent) and Queen (23 per cent) in the What-song-should-we-run-out-to-on-matchdays vote.

I'm mildly happy with the eventual winner; but the fact 23 per cent of people thought We Will Rock You is an acceptable war-cry is embarrassing.

The Man can only hope Ipswich fans tried to swing the vote by all standing around the town's computer and registering a vote each.

However, I do have some misgivings over the process as a whole.

Sources close to influential members of the Canary Intelligentsia tell me a considerable number of fans voted for the uplifting anthem Hold Me Close, by David Essex.

Yet it did not appear on the final list - as it was drawn up by a panel from the club and Radio Boredland.

Still, Kasabian is a decent choice.

COLNEY FAN BAN BANNED

Norwich City Football Club has revealed it is set to ban the ban on supporters at Colney.

Following defeats to Cardiff and Hull - and a lucky win over lowly Rochdale - Carra Rud officials have become alarmed over the lack of misinformation and rumours available to opponents.

Peter the Punter told Canaries Universe: “There was a situation earlier this week when Adam Drury and Robert “dessert” Eagle had a bare-chested mud wrestle over a packet of Minstrels.

“Adam proper battered him; there was blond hair everywhere.

“Robert had to spend three hours in the A&E dept at Tony and Guy up Castle Mall.

“The trouble is no-one was there to see it, if this news had got out earlier in the week the opposition would be running scared.

“No-one would want to face Adam in that mood! He was fuming.”

Club PR guru Joe Proton confirmed the electric fences surrounding Colney would be taken down, and top key-board warriors would actually be invited into the training ground to fuel the internet fires.

A club spokesman warned: “You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!”

Become a supporter

This newspaper company has followed Norwich City through good times and bad. Every single contribution will help us continue to produce in depth coverage that makes a measurable difference to our community. OTBC

Norwich City Video

Norwich City Audio

Norwich City Stats

The Pink Un magazine

cover
A must-read for any Norwich City fan with in-depth, straight-talking, analysis from the best writers around.
Purchase

Latest from the Pink Un - Norwich City Football Club News