Dancing Farmers 1, Bayer 7

AFTER a lengthy mid-season break it was time to don the thermals once again on a Sunday morning.

Dancing Farmers 1, Bayer 7

Division 3B, Sunday January 8, 2006

AFTER a lengthy mid-season break it was time to don the thermals once again on a Sunday morning.

I decided to ease myself back in gently with a Division 3B game at nearby Thorpe High School - had the festive rest benefited the players from Dancing Farmers and Bayer, or would the Christmas excesses hinder these finely tuned athletes?

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It certainly did nothing for their time-keeping. Dancing Farmers were forced to make a last-minute change to their line-up due to the late arrival of defender Peter Baitey. For what was supposed to be his 100th appearance as well (only Dave Evans has possibly made more). His replacement, player-manager Chris Rose, was not best pleased at having to exert himself after eight weeks without football and “far too many burgers”.

The amalgamation with recently folded Hollywood Cinemas has boosted Bayer and they demonstrated their promotion credentials when they took the lead after just three minutes. David Turner surprised the Farmers defence with a shot from just inside the area, which he placed in the far corner.

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Number two for Bayer was an unfortunate own goal by Rose, for which he blamed Baitey despite the latecomer being 20 yards away freezing on the sideline.

An injury to Bayer midfielder Jamie Moore proved only a temporary setback as, 10 minutes after the enforced substitution, the away side added to their tally when Scott Whitmore's strong run down the right resulted in a thumping strike past goalkeeper Neil Towns.

Towns saved a shot from Sean Duffetion (are you sure that's how you spell his name Kenny?) but couldn't prevent him scoring with the follow-up, even though there were appeals that the ball had been cleared off the line.

Complaints from Martin Linsdell that all Farmers were doing was “taking long goal kicks” were redressed by Towns when he played the ball out short instead. Unfortunately, it was a bit too short for Linsdell and Duffetion nipped in to score his second.

Half-time couldn't come quickly enough for the Farmers, who came up with the cunning plan of changing their goalkeeper for the second half…

But substitute Zak Virgin was soon picking the ball out of the back of the net after Gareth Cox had headed in Bayer's sixth.

A brief moment of inspiration in the shape of a long throw from Darren Spall, turned in by Steve Smith, gave the Farmers something to celebrate, but even Rose decided to call it a day after that, bringing Baitey on in his place with half-an-hour to go.

Virgin made some good saves to keep the score semi-respectable but was unable to stop Wayne Nelson rounding off the scoring with five minutes to go.

t Dancing Farmers 1 (Smith 59), Bayer 7 (Turner 3, Rose 22 og, Whitmore 37, Duffetion 40, 43, Cox 54, W Nelson 85)

t Teams:

Dancing Farmers: 1 Neil Towns 5 (Zak Virgin HT 6), 11 Sam Evans 5 (20 Dave Evans 67 5), 3 Dan Newbolt 5, Chris Rose 5 (7 Peter Baitey 59 6), 2 Martin 'J-Lo' Linsdell 5, 6 Paul Norman 5, 15 Darren Spall 6, 18 Rob 'Birthday Captain' Whittle 5, 9 Steve Smith 6, 19 Richard Kellaway 5, 14 Flip Johnson 5.

Bayer: 1 David Robinson 7, 8 Daniel Oversen 7, 12 Sean Duffetion 8 (2 Steven Browne 86), 11 Jason Lofty 7, 15 Chris Nelson 8, 14 Scott Whitmore 7, 6 Ben Williamson 8 (5 Kris Martin 81), 9 Jamie Moore 7 (4 Carl Needham 27 7), 3 Wayne Nelson 7, 10 David Turner 7, 16 Gareth Cox 7.

t Shots on: Dancing Farmers 2, Bayer 19

t Shots off: Dancing Farmers 1, Bayer 14

t Corners: Dancing Farmers 1, Bayer 13

t Offsides: Dancing Farmers 4, Bayer 1

t Fouls: Dancing Farmers 5, Bayer 8

t Referee: David Hawkins

t Attendance: 11

t MoM: Sean Duffetion

t Entertainment value: 4 out of 5

t Weather: Murky

t Kit of the Match: Is replaced this week by Haircut of the Match, and goes to referee David Hawkins for his growing-out 'Huckerby' mullet.

t Boss Talk:

Dancing Farmers player-manager Chris Rose (after a strange horse-like sighing noise): “I blame the pitch, the ball and the reporter. Don't come and see us after Christmas.”

Bayer manager Kenny Martin: “The boys played really well in the first half but took it easier in the second. I just hope it's the beginning of a New Year turnaround.”

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