Goalless, clueless, why PTP had to go

There was a deliciously apt spectacle for Norwich supporters to behold during the half-time interval at QPR.

For those who weren't there, or were busy being vomited on in the away stand's bar, this spectacle involved Hoops fans making themselves dizzy before attempting to score a penalty.

The dizziness was attained by circling around a cone ten times before staggering towards the goalmouth.

The soundtrack to this silliness (none of the dizzied penalty takers scored) was the Benny Hill theme tune.

The Man could not help but think these shambolic attempts at scoring a goal were a comical critique of our nine hour 15 minutes goal drought.

If I hadn't been so utterly drained by the desperate condition of our football club, The Man might even have laughed.

And so 45 minutes later Peter Grant was effectively gone, falling on his own pen-knife in an admirable manner.

Having successfully made the club goal neutral, there was no doubt he had to go.

But for The Man's money, Grant's departure only solves about 10 per cent of our problems.

When Worthington was sacked a year ago, many commentators - including to a certain extent The Man - put the key Burnley defeat down to Nigel losing the dressing room.

The considered opinion was that the players had voted with their feet, and their non-show - like QPR also on Sky - was a tacit “bugger off” to Worthy.

However, The Man always had a nagging feeling that there was another reason for that thrashing by Burnley: that the players just weren't any good.

Anyone who saw the QPR game (among others this term) could not fail to reach a similar conclusion.

Already this season I've heard countless players and fans say “we should be higher in the table”, in fact Rusty again restated such an opinion this week.

But I don't buy it. Aside from Marshall and Dion, there is not a player in our team that looks capable of keeping us in this division at present.

Yes, I know the poor little darlings are drained of confidence, but really, there is not much quality there. Hux is either injured, uninterested or past it - but whatever it is - he doesn't look like digging us out of a hole like he did last season.

Which brings The Man to the issue of Grant's replacement. Quite simply, it will tell us everything about where this club is going.

There is no way Jewell or Bruce will come down here without the promise of cash to spend, both are too shrewd to leave themselves up a creek without a paddle.

So amid this talk (probably just hopeful speculation) of more investment in the team, if either man does eventually turn up in their Sunday best at Colney we can all be genuinely hopeful of a bright future.

Incidentally, The Man understands that Bruce sounded out a City director about the Norwich job more than a year ago, when Birmingham got relegated, and it looked like Worthy might get the push.

Bruce is a ruthless operator - and right now he could be just what we need.

Who knows what sort of games he is playing by turning up in the crowd at QPR? But we should certainly put a call in.

Aside from the fanciful notions of Jewell and Bruce, The Man would point to Martin 'don't call me Mad-dog' Allen.

If we are not going to buy our way out of trouble we are going to have to fight our way out - and he's a decent bet to get us that now hallowed fourth from bottom spot.

Paul Ince, pictured below, is probably worth a look too, although he may not have the experience we desperately require at this stage.

After those four, who knows? I'm sure there are some very capable managers in League One and Two - and maybe one will emerge from the pack over the coming week.

The one advantage of our position is that we know we are in a relegation fight already.

When Simon Jordan appointed Warnock this week he talked of not wanting to have another “wasted season”.

The implication was that he still thinks his mighty Eagles and their 13,000 fans can make the top six.

Such delusion - occasionally functional as it may be - has never been a trait in Norfolk, despite some of the pre-season spin.

We know we have got eight months to save ourselves from disaster, and everyone has got to get their hands to the pump.

That includes the support, come the home game at Bristol City we need to get right behind our flailing team, whoever is in charge.

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t WORDS THAT CHART THE COURSE OF CITY'S DECLINE

In no particular order... Prudence with ambition. Protest meeting outside the swimming pool.

Patrick Boyle. Geography. 'Relegated clubs always struggle to go back up'. £500,000 for Andy Hughes. Let's be having you.

Wolves away. The club does not comment on speculation, we'll let fans know as and when there is anything positive to report. Burnley at home.

Fulham away. 'I'd have been disappointed with a draw'.

Sheffield Wednesday's favourite away trip.

“We can't compete with the relegated clubs'. Club BBQ. Peter Thorne. Centre back. Hoof. Right winger. Buy-out clauses. We've put a call in - now it's a case of wait-and-see. African Nations Cup.

“True” supporters. Hotel. 'And now he's even signed a Pakistani'. Ashton's 'groin strain' before WHU game - 'I've got the scans to prove it'. Jason Jarrett.

Please refrain from posting rumours about people's personal lives. Restaurants. 6ft 2 of Nigerian muscle. High-flying Scunthorpe. Scotland.

'Norwich City likes to conduct its business in the proper manner'. Worthy outers. Worthy inners.

Squad size. Money. 'I can guarantee Norwich City will be promoted, I can confirm that'. Fozzy flick.

Southend United have refused Norwich permission to speak to Steve Tilson, a decision the Norfolk club have respected. Our best player is 38. MLJ. Rolling contract.

Loan signings. Hellesdon Hospital. No loan signings. Mad Barry on Canary Call. KnowwhatImean...League One? Help.