Let’s make football more entertaining

This column’s headline is a title of a document prepared by an unnamed television company which fell into my hands at the beginning of this month.

The general gist of the paper is that there is a need to make football more interesting. I am able to share the main proposals with you.

Central to the ideas being introduced is that the unnamed television company will show a live Premiership game every evening. This will mean that the fixture list will be decided each week by the television company to maximise viewing figures.

This will give fans who have bought season tickets at least one day and up to a generous seven days to make their travel arrangements. Championship matches will no longer be played in the evenings but played in the morning allowing some to be televised.

Two proposals are set to increase the number of goals in a match. The first is that goals scored and not goal difference will be used to separate teams equal on points.

The second takes a a suggestion first made by the United States for the World Cup that the goal posts should be set further apart. The report claims that never again will a televised match be a 0-0 draw. The report states that the government favours the enlargement of goals as this will provide an increased employment opportunity.

Changing the rules for substitutes is another area of action. Each team will be able to have 11 substitutes and managers can use as many as they wish. A second proposal that managers should be able to withdraw and then reintroduce a player later in a game has been put on one side until the new substitutes rule has bedded in.

Most Read

Each team will be allowed five time-outs of two-minute duration for coaches to change their tactics. Additional adverts will be shown during time-outs.

A winter break will allow Premier League matches to be played worldwide and attract additional club merchandise sales and increased television company profits.

To promote respect for match officials a weekly half-hour interview programme for referees will be hosted by Piers Morgan. A suggested X-Factor talent show for officials was rejected but will be considered at a later date.

In case you think this must all be a joke, just think back. Teams coming third in the Championship suddenly lost their hard fought rightful place to automatic promotion and all in the name of entertainment.

• On another matter, NCISA members can cast their votes for the NCISA Player and Young Player of the season. Visit our website www.ncisa.co.uk for details and then vote at voteplayer@gmail.com making sure you include your own name as this is a members only vote.