Name the three clubs Norwich City have never scored against in competitive games?

(Answers at the bottom)

With Norwich travelling to Loftus Road today, I was wondering what I could write that relates to QPR.

Norwich have met Rangers on 119 occasions, so I’m sure I could think of one or two games that have stood out.

Or I could talk about my record at QPR – one win in 14 attempts, and that was on my last visit in January 2012. A 2-1 win with the lovely Joseph Barton and his stinky breath. Before that, I had missed only four games at Loftus Road since 1989 and in those four games we won all four. So, yes, I was paranoid that I was a jinx.

Now when I think of QPR I think of my first experience of a naked woman. Before you start worrying about this being a family newspaper, I’ll keep it clean. It has to be one of my favourite funny stories and probably one of the most bizarre incidents I’ve had following Norwich City.

On a hot sunny day in August, 1989, Norwich were at home to QPR. If you have ever seen the end-of-season video, you may have noticed from that game they only showed a close-range header from Andy Linighan that was easily saved by QPR keeper David Seaman. Nothing else happened on the football front. The biggest cheer that day happened just before half-time.

I was 14 at the time and I was standing at my normal position for every home game – on the Barclay terrace, at the front, next to the away fans. The perimeter fence had been removed the previous April following the Hillsborough disaster. At the game, I remember standing there with an old school friend, Andrew Mack.

Just before half-time, Andrew started tapping me rather vigorously on my right shoulder saying, “Spud’, Spud, Spud – look!”

After trying to ignore Andrew and carry on watching the game, I glanced to my right and did a double take. A young lady in her early 20 was there, standing with a bloke and she was stripping off her clothes. At this point, my thoughts of watching the game had switched – to her. Both me and Andy were staring at her like the characters from the Channel 4 show Inbetweeners.

The young lady, who was wearing only a camisole vest and knickers, and the man she was with, approached where me and Andrew were standing.

The man asked Andrew if he would help him to get her over the front. Before I knew it, she was up and over the front, over the advertising board heading for Robert Fleck.

I stood there gobsmacked, my mouth wide open whilst the whole Barclay cheered.

She got to Fleckie before she was escorted off the pitch. Suddenly the half-time talk was not about the game, but what we had just witnessed.

In the second half nothing happened.

Just a few days later, I remember reading in the Norwich Evening News that this young lady was offered a modelling contract, which I believe she took up.

On that hot August day back in 1989, I’m sure she made many people smile – well, at least two innocent 14-year-old boys. Wonder where she is now...

Answer

Corinthians (1929), Workington (1964), Inter Milan (1993)