THE MAN is close to bottoming out, Norwich-wise. Despite a decent run in the league, the past week of watching our players get tossed from one tabloid transfer story to the next has left me fatigued.

THE MAN is close to bottoming out, Norwich-wise.

Despite a decent run in the league, the past week of watching our players get tossed from one tabloid transfer story to the next has left me fatigued.

There really is nothing worse than reading about grubby Milan Mandaric talking about buying one of your players, or Pardew suggesting Ashton's price tag is “too high.”

Sod off!

Somewhere, in amongst all this speculation and hugely unsettling talk, is our football club.

I'm tired of wondering who's going to be here come the start of February.

The Man only wants players to wear the yellow shirt if they want to wear it.

As decent a bloke as he is, you can't help but have the feeling that Greeno does not want to be here any more. He certainly appears to have his mind on other things.

If he's so desperate to help put the cones out and play left-back in training at the World Cup then let him go.

I always hoped he'd move to a big club after us - but if he wants to join whatever the hell is going on down in P****muff then fine. They'd be crazy to pay more than £1.5 million for him and I don't think they will.

As for Dean, we all knew we wouldn't have him for that long, but we all expected to keep him for more than a year.

I'm sure if we were really in the running for promotion he'd stay - so the fault lies in part with Worthy and Co - but it appears it's 50/50 whether he'll stay or go.

Whatever happens the club should be laying its hands on a fair wad of cash in the not-too-distant future.

A warning, Mr Worthington - you'd better spend it well this time, or we are really in the doo doo.

t JEWELL'S WIGAN CHEAT SYSTEM

REGULAR readers of this column - yes, both of you - will have detected The Man's dislike of Wigan.

Don't get me wrong, I think Paul Jewell is a good bloke who has done a terrific job, but what on earth is the point?

This week they played host to Arsenal in the League Cup semi-final and won 1-0 in front of a pitiful crowd of 17 or so people in a game hit by floodlight failure.

Apparently the major factor for this low turnout was because the mighty Latics have 3,000 junior members who had school the next day.

No, the real reason is because a football club has been bankrolled in a town that really does not give a monkey's about the sport.

You might ask why The Man should care about a tin-pot club up north? It's because for every Wigan, Fulham and Blackburn who find themselves in the top flight on the back of a millionaire's whim, there's an us/Nottingham Forest/Sheffield Wednesday that gets knocked down the football ladder and has to endure years of watching our teams get dragged through the mud, struggling to make ends meet.

Football clubs should spend what they get through the gate.

Teams like Wigan are cheating the system.

I'm sure there's another reason why I don't like Wigan? Oh yes, I remember now.

t INJURIES HIT HARD DUE TO NATURE OF SQUAD

WE really are in the middle of a horrific injury crisis.

Neal Reynolds' physio room has been busier than a Matalan sale in Ipswich.

Sgt Worthy said this week he had never known anything like it.

But, as far as The Man is concerned, the reason these injuries are biting so much is because of the unbalanced nature of our squad.

Three left-backs, two right-backs, four goalies - no right-winger (ever…)!

I still don't really understand why we've got one of the smallest squads in the league either. I thought a dalliance with the Premiership - however brief - was supposed to let you run slightly heavier ships than Championship lifers.

Ho hum, “prudence with shambition.” Only joking. OTBC.

t YOU SHOULDN'T MESS THE FANS ABOUT, NIGEL

LAST weekend's Ashton shenanigans were a peculiar little affair.

By all accounts it appears Worthy revelled in tormenting the press and supporters over the reasons for Deano's absence.

Ashton apparently picked up his injury on Thursday, yet Nigel was presumably happy not to tell the local Press when discussing any provisional line-ups on Friday.

Prior to kick-off against West Ham, he refused to say that DA was “injured”, preferring to leave the mystery hanging in the air until after the game.

Even then he apparently walked into the press room to bellow: “He's gone! Robert Green to hospital that is.”

I can understand the temptation for Worthy to mess the media about a bit - he's got a good sense of humour - but he should know better than to try the patience of supporters.

If ever a manager's actions demonstrated he was 100 per cent sure he'll never get the sack, then last Saturday was it.

And he's right . . .

t MESSAGE FOR MYSTERY MAN

FAO “Neil.”

This week the Pink Un's hotdesk was called by a character using the moniker “Neil”.

Via a complex network of codes this incident was communicated to The Man Towers.

Apparently “Neil” had some very important information he wished to impart to The Man.

Was this the Doomcaster trying to smoke out The Man? We will never know, maybe it was a genuine revelation.

For future reference “Neil”, all dialogue must assume the written form.

But if it's the stuff about . . . in the showers . . . then we've all heard that rumour already.