Where is Miss Marple when you need her?

The Man In The Stands The Man takes a lot of what he reads at face value but will happily accept he owes Darel Russell an apology.You see, we had a summer's worth of chip paper telling us how he wanted out, how he went to Gunny and said League One wasn't for him, how Turf Moor suddenly became his dream move.

The Man In The Stands

The Man takes a lot of what he reads at face value but will happily accept he owes Darel Russell an apology.

You see, we had a summer's worth of chip paper telling us how he wanted out, how he went to Gunny and said League One wasn't for him, how Turf Moor suddenly became his dream move. Christ.

Then the season starts, Gunny goes, and it turns out Rusty's angry. He's only talking to the press because his sister's trying to win a popularity contest, but he lets slip what was written was rubbish.


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He'll tell his side - but only when he's good and ready.

No smoke without fire is The Man's mantra. Rumours come from somewhere, someone with an agenda.

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But here the words are irrelevant. It's the performances that do it, and Rusty has been a class apart.

He's basically a brick wall that League One sides aren't good enough to scale - and one which makes sure our terrible trio up front can set about taking too many touches in front of goal and still do enough to win us matches.

Obviously, if Rusty has been wronged The Man is assuming he's here to see the job done - not just getting performances under his belt to earn a move in January.

If that happens, then whatever story is uncovered won't be good enough, Darel.

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Of course, the January sales might be out of the players' and Lambo's hands.

Like Rusty, Wes is still here and enjoying things - but we all know there will be plenty of rubbish Championship sides interested in trying to save their skin with a decent Canary or three.

It's the first test of our new board - but one with a simple pass mark.

Sell our best players without Lambo's agreement, throw our chances of promotion out the window.

It would never make financial sense, however you spin it. And being in League One, the offers aren't going to be huge.

So don't do it board, however tempted you are.

* * * * * * * * *

With the season Tranmere are having, it's no wonder their fans are turning to Plan B for matchday entertainment.

Never has one man, ironically wearing orange, tried so hard to beat off a 20-strong gabble of stewards with such an ineffective windmill action as the bloke in the Jarrold Stand at the weekend.

Good to see the Scouse spirit is alive and well - and going to good use.

* * * * * * * * *

I'm sure plenty of us had a twinkle in the eye at George Burley's insipid demise up in Scotland - but it's his own fault.

His best midfielder - a man with passion, desire, a footballer's brain, a former club captain, one set for Champions League football - sat at home in his slippers while the Scots and their former I****** boss crashed and burned.

As the defeats racked up, Mark Fotheringham was a forgotten man.

Still, when Fozzy picks up the award for Cypriot league player of the year in the summer, George will be sorry.

Anyway, it's old news now - much like the Hand of Frog.

Replaying the France v Ireland game was never going to happen - too many worms ready to leap out of cans for that one.

But it continues to amuse The Man that within seconds of Terry 'Enry's moment of skulduggery, the whole world had seen the incident repeatedly on television.

Even the guys on the touchline at the game saw the replays.

In fact, the only person not allowed to see the replay was the only man on the planet who could right the wrong - not that 'City favourite' Keano would agree it was a wrong in the first place.

But anyway, surely there's something wrong somewhere, Michel? No? Thought not.

* * * * * * * * *

[Seven minutes of laughter before The Man gains his composure, and types…]

A points deduction? What on earth are the sheep on. There would be hell to pay for so many clubs if the Football League decided to bring points into it.

For anyone left confused, this is all over the fact we poached Lambert at the start of the season - although I doubt we went as far as to poach Culverhouse and Karsa as well.

Maybe the Ewes think the points that could get taken off us would go to them as compensation - sort of like bonus win?

That said, The Man does think we could be on the receiving end of a fine, which would be a little silly on our part given the financial state of the club - unless, of course, Lambo wins us promotion.

So you'd better get on with it boys.

As it is, the Ewes will need some bottle to get a result. The Man wouldn't want to take on David McGnarly at anything.

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