Worthy of the entry fee

Last weekend was a treat. Don't get me wrong, I have no ill-feeling towards Worthy, but even a staunch Nigel apologist would have found it hard to subdue at least a wry smile.

We win an away game - with a team full of kids - against Worthy, in his first game in charge.

Not only that, the result goes a long way to sucking Leicester into relegation.

It was just one of those days that only football can serve up. Wow, were Leicester awful.

Without doubt the worst side I have seen this season; and that includes us!

And ahead of today's trip to Preston, there were dark rumours over Nigel's impact at the Walkers Stadium.

It's understood he's already fallen out with Danny Tiatto and Andy Johnson, after he disciplined the pair for not watching a game with the rest of the squad.

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t CAN'T FEEL A WHOLE LOAD OF SYMPATHY FOR PLAYERS AS THEY LOSE THEIR COMFY AWAY DAYS

As the weeks progress, The Man thinks we are going to hear more and more tales of cost-cutting at Carrow Road.

Like a Prince Harry pay-check, the parachute payments have been p****d up the wall, and now we must face the consequences.

The Man understands that the days of the players having flights chartered to away games is now a thing of the past. The club used to arrange Eastern Airways flights to places such as Burnley or Sunderland, but not anymore.

In fact, reflecting on this week's journey to Turf Moor, Grant pertinently said: “We had seven hours on the motorway, which didn't help.”

But as much as The Man wants our players to be at their optimum, I can't really feel too sorry for them for losing their comfy flights and everything-you-could-desire waiter service.

The era of jetting to away games coincided with just about the worst away form in living memory.

I think it's a great incentive to get a result if you know you are stuck on a coach for five hours afterwards. Certainly as fans, we know how that feels.

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t RAID YOUR CLOTHES CUPBOARD AND GET INTO THE SPIRIT FOR THE FINAL DAY

The Man is big into his 80s culture, as far as I'm concerned it was the decade of kings.

Therefore, I was delighted to be informed that one of our premier supporters factions - the Yarmouth Yellows - has designated the last away game of the season as an homage to the days of the Rubik's cube and Betamax.

To commemorate our visit to Hillsborough in 1982, when we clinched promotion, my source tells me his cell “are currently scouring the internet for 80s fashion wear to recreate that great day”.

I also understand a shadowy group known as the BDC - the belachelijk (which means ridiculous in Dutch) drinking club - are set to don similar attire.

The Man would urge other fans to do the same; fancy dress is invariably tedious - but on the last day of the season it is wholly acceptable, especially if the 80s are involved. OTBC

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t TRAIN GAME HELPS WHILE AWAY THE HOURS ON JOURNEY

A Reader's Digest survey this week revealed that Ipswich was one of the worst places in the country to bring up a child.

The survey ranked the grubby market town as 333rd for good child-rearing; with Norwich a loftier - if still disappointing - 265th.

Such results will come as no surprise to anyone who has had the misfortune of visiting Suffolk's capital; it is quite simply, dreadful.

When a Toys R Us superstore is your biggest selling point, you know you are in trouble.

Over the years The Man and his pals have developed a good way of killing time when travelling back from games in London.

It is imaginatively called the “Ipswich game”. The basic rule is that as the train leaves Liverpool St, you look around your train coach and guess which passengers are getting off at a) Colchester, b) Ipswich and c) Norwich.

To be fair, it's not that difficult.

If they talk with a faux cockney accent, wear stonewash jeans, smoke, have kids called Rio and Chantel, stink out the carriage with a McDonalds - then you know where they are getting off.

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t YOU'RE HAVING A LAUGH FREDDY

The Man laughed recently when Newcastle chairman Freddy Shepherd threatened to seek a court injunction preventing Michael Owen from playing for England this summer.

Do me a favour…

Shepherd said he'd take the unprecedented step unless the FA paid big compensation for the injury Owen received at the last World Cup.

Here's a tip Mr Shepherd: if you don't want to suffer the consequences of having an injury prone international striker, don't buy one! And especially, don't pay £15million for one that only wants to use your club as a fitness exercise to play for England in the first place. Numpty.

The Man still chortles at the memory of the 20,000 Barcodes who turned up to welcome Owen when he signed for the club; after the Real Madrid bench-warmer had begged Liverpool to take him back. Expect Mr Shepherd to shell out big bucks for Dean Ashton in the summer - they never learn.

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t A FEW CHOICE THEME TUNES

As Danny Baker revealed in The Times this week, Ipswich have sent out a list of rather unimaginative songs for fans to pick next season's 'goal celebration' tune from.

So The Man - with a little assistance - decided to draw up his own list for our country cousins to choose from, by way of a favour.

Here's a selection:

t Down Payment Blues, ACDC

t Part of the Union, The Strawbs;

t Road to Nowhere, Talking Heads

t My Old Man's a Dustman, Lonnie Donegan

t Walk Away, Sisters of Mercy

t Dirty Old Town, The Pogues

t Scum, Napalm Death

t A Town called Malice, The Jam

t All by Myself, Celine Dion

t When the Children Cry, White Lion

t Money for Nothing (F George Remix), Dire Straits

t Send in the Clowns; Glynis Johns